I’m living a crazy life right now. It will most likely stay crazy for the foreseeable future as well. I can’t really predict what’s coming next. The Hillsong UNITED song, Oceans, has words that speak deeply to what I’m feeling at the moment:
You call me out upon the waters
the great unknown; where feet may fail
And there I find you in the mystery
in oceans deep my faith will stand.
A week ago today, He called us out upon the waters – we got a call from the county telling us that they had two little children coming in to foster care and could we take them. A 6 month old and a 2 year old. Deep waters for sure…
The song goes on to talk about how God’s grace abounds in deep waters and ends with a call for the Holy Spirit to lead us out into a faith journey that doesn’t have borders. That’s where we are. For a control freak like myself, it is incredibly difficult to live day by day and just really not know THE PLAN.
Since there’s so much I don’t know, I’m going to focus on some things that I DO know –
I’m falling more and more in love with my family every day. My husband is actually the best father on the planet (sorry about that everyone else…). His grace and patience with these two extra babies are amazing. He rolls with the punches, doling out tickles or firm “no’s” when warranted, doing night feedings, changing diapers, etc. He’s caring for all of us so well.
My three biological daughters are jumping in with both feet. They’re feeding and playing with these babies, being big sisters, dealing with less attention from us, talking about their feelings, coming along for rides to extra doctor visits and court appointments. Watching them in action makes my heart burst.
I have an amazing community of prayer partners and people willing to step in to help with practical things. People have brought dinner, made bottles, left stacks of diapers on our porch, brought kids home from school. People I don’t even know have been praying for us.
I also know that I have a good God. There are so many things that have happened this week that I don’t understand. But I know He has been working in our waiting and I still trust He has a plan. It sure doesn’t look like I thought it would – knee deep in diapers, formula, spit up and toddler tantrums. In fact, just a couple weeks ago, I told someone that it felt very strange that I was about to leave the land of MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) with my youngest heading off to kindergarten. Guess God thought I wasn’t done.
Well, God – would love to see what’s next. We’ve said this first yes and are back in the game. Since it feels like we jumped off a cliff, I sure hope You’re at the bottom to catch us.